The Care Conversation

06-May

How to talk to your parents about moving to a care home

Starting a conversation about care with a loved one can feel overwhelming. It’s a deeply personal topic, tied to independence, memories, and a lifetime of familiarity. At Aspen Manor, we understand the emotions involved and the importance of approaching this conversation with care, honesty, and empathy.

If you’re unsure how to bring up the subject, you’re not alone. Many families face this challenge, but with the right approach, the discussion can be positive, reassuring, and empowering for everyone involved.

Start with their needs, not the move

Rather than opening with “You need to move into a care home,” try focusing on their day-to-day experiences. Are they finding household tasks more difficult? Feeling isolated? Struggling with mobility or health concerns?

Framing the conversation around their wellbeing, comfort, and happiness can help shift the perspective. Moving into care isn’t about losing independence – it’s about gaining the right support to continue living life fully.

Choose the right moment

Timing is key. Bringing up the topic in a stressful moment or when emotions are running high can make it harder to have a productive conversation. Instead, find a quiet, relaxed time where you can talk without distractions.

A gentle, open approach creates space for an honest discussion, where they feel heard rather than pressured.

Listen more than you talk

It’s natural to want to reassure them by listing all the benefits of a care home, but the most important thing is to listen. Many older adults worry about losing their home, routine, and sense of control.

Let them share their thoughts and concerns. Acknowledge their feelings and offer reassurance that they will always have a say in their future.

Take small steps

A move to a care home doesn’t have to happen overnight. Introducing the idea gradually can make it easier to accept.

Suggest visiting a care home together for a coffee morning or a short respite stay. Seeing the warm and welcoming environment first-hand – and meeting residents who are enjoying life – can help ease fears and break down misconceptions.

Involve the right people

Having support from other family members can be helpful, but too many voices at once may feel overwhelming. If possible, involve one or two trusted relatives who can provide reassurance, rather than making your loved one feel like they are being convinced or outnumbered.

It’s about gentle encouragement, not pressure.

Help them feel in control

No one wants to feel like decisions are being made for them. If they’re worried about losing independence, show them the ways they can still have control: